Although men and women are created equal, there is a difference in the way we communicate with one another and function at home and in the workplace. Although logic and analytical skills are important, we cannot underestimate the power of influencing others through what is known as our “emotional intelligence” or “EQ.” Learning how to effectively communicate with people in a variety of settings is a skill that is essential in excelling in every area of life.
Dr. Travis Bradberry and Dr. Jean Greaves, authors of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, share just how important it is to possess EQ in the workplace:
“EQ is so critical to success that it accounts for 58% of performance in all types of jobs. It’s the single biggest predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence.”
“The link between EQ and earnings is so direct that every point increase in EQ adds $1,300 to an annual salary. These findings hold true for people in all industries, at all levels, in every region of the world. We haven’t been able to find a job in which performance and pay aren’t tied closely to EQ.”
“In order to be successful and fulfilled nowadays, you must learn to maximize your EQ skills, for those who employ a unique blend of reason and feeling achieve the greatest results.”
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Many people think that the key to success lies in how much education, knowledge, intellectual prowess or experience one has. There are many incredibly brilliant, well-educated and experienced people who still struggle in their schools, relationships, and workplaces, while others with seemingly less intellectual ability or fewer skills may flourish. Why? I’m glad you asked! The answer points directly to their emotional intelligence or EQ rather than their intellectual ability or IQ.
Our brains are hard-wired to give emotions the upper hand by using our 5 senses of sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch--all of which travel through our body in the form of electric signals passing from cell to cell until they reach our brain. Once they enter at the base of our brain near the spinal cord, they must travel to our frontal lobe behind our forehead before reaching the place where rational, logical thinking takes place. The problem we face is this: they pass through the limbic system along the way where emotions are produced, meaning that we experience emotions before our reasoning center can do its job! The front of our brain (or the rational area) can’t stop the emotion felt by our limbic system, but the two areas do influence each other and maintain constant communication. This pathway of communication between the emotional and rational sections of our brain is known as emotional intelligence.
All emotions are derived from five core feelings: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, and shame. We have emotional reactions to almost everything that happens in our lives, whether we notice them or not. The more intense our emotion, the greater the likelihood that it will dictate our actions. Because of the way our brains are wired, we have no control over the fact that the first reaction to an event is an emotional one. However, we can control the thoughts that follow an emotion and decide how we will react, or rather, respond to it--but we must first become aware of the emotion. Prolonged emotional reactions are called “trigger events.” Our reaction to trigger events is shaped by our personal history and experience with similar situations.
Emotional intelligence is our ability to recognize and understand emotions in ourselves and others, and our ability to use this awareness to manage our behavior and relationships. IQ, EQ, and personality are distinct qualities we all have to determine how we think and act. We cannot predict one based upon the others. Some are intelligent, but not emotionally intelligent and vice versa. Of the three, EQ is the only quality that is flexible and able to change/grow.
Although men and women communicate differently, our wiring is similar in regards to how our brain operates. Some of us just stay in the limbic system longer than we do in the frontal lobe! Emotional intelligence is our ability to recognize and understand emotions in ourselves and others so we can use this awareness to manage our behavior and relationships. IQ, EQ, and personality are distinct qualities we possess to determine how we think and act. We cannot predict one based upon the others. Some are intelligent, but not emotionally intelligent and vice versa. EQ is the only quality, however, that is flexible and able to grow. We must seek to change the ways in which we deliver and receive communication by nurturing our EQ.
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