There is one simple word that must become a regular part of our vocabulary in order to avoid the people pleaser personality, which can easily cause us to become overburdened with tasks and responsibilities that perhaps our neighbor should carry. That simple word is also a complete sentence that will empower us more time and energy to do prioritize our lives: “No.”
To become comfortable with using this word and really meaning it, practice saying it in the mirror if necessary while paying attention to body language and voice inflections. Others will be able to tell if we are serious when we respond to them based on how this simple word is communicated, and whether or not we back up our response with our intended display of tough love. Remember that our goal is not to please people, but to please our audience of one—God. In so doing, we will allow ourselves to do only those things that are in alignment with our own priorities, purpose and passion.
When the same people constantly drain us of our finances, emotions, counsel and kindheartedness, and we continue to let them do so without seeing any positive results in their lives, we must answer the wake up call by picking up the phone and saying, “No” to them without feeling guilty. If not, we become enablers and many times prevent others from standing on their own two feet and learning the lessons of life that can lead to their own growth and development.
Using wisdom to differentiate between what is urgent, what is important, and what should be delegated to others, makes it easier for us to say no when necessary. Urgent things take priority over what is important and should be placed on the top of a daily task list. Priorities should be set in terms of what needs to be completed first, and follow in descending order. Tasks that should be delegated to someone else will only waste the precious resource of time that God has given to us. We become overload and overwhelmed when we refuse to utilize the “power of no” and take on more responsibilities than we can realistically handle. Perhaps at times we do not delegate tasks due to a lack of confidence in others to perform the way we would. If and when this is the case, the solution to push past the temptation to say yes is to remember that overloading ourselves with assignments that are beyond the scope of our present priorities and abilities, will rob us of the time to do what really matters the most.
Time is one vital resource that can never return once it has gone. We must guard our time and use it wisely by seizing each opportunity that comes our way to do good and to serve others, while remembering to place ourselves at the top of the list of those who need to be cared for or served.
Having a prioritized plan which lists anything that is important to us along with the order in which tasks are to be accomplished and the specific day and time frame for each task (preferably listed in the calendar format of a cell phone or something small that can be kept in your purse) helps to alleviate undue stress and keep us from overly committing or double booking ourselves. It is also important to establish boundaries, not just for us so that we know when to say no, but also for others so that everyone involved in our lives can respect the boundaries that we have set.
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