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Writer's pictureNatalie A. Francisco

Practicing Self-Care

Give yourself a break and take care of your most valuable asset – YOU! Then you can be of service to those who need what you have to offer.


Taking the time to nurture our spiritual, mental, emotional and physical needs is vitally important. I call it self-care because it is an intentional focus of the mind, heart and will to do what is necessary to tend to the most valuable asset that God has given us other than His Son Jesus Christ—ourselves. To be quite honest, it occurred to me shortly after my 40th birthday several years ago that I had devoted my time and energy into the lives of my husband, children, and the church to make sure that their needs and interests were tended to at the expense of neglecting my own. I really didn’t realize how much time I invested in my children until they left for college and, all of a sudden, I experienced a void, and my husband and I were confronted with a time of awkward transition as empty nesters. We didn’t realize how much they consumed our time when we were not in church, and how quiet the house would become without them.


When my children left for college and to pursue a life on their own, I discovered that I needed to find an outlet that would nurture my intellectual, social and emotional needs that had been lacking. Although I had majored on feeding my spirit, the other components of my four-square development desperately needed attention, and fast! Early pre-menopausal symptoms didn’t help the situation either! Is anyone else willing to admit the same?


There are red flags that are raised in our lives in order to get our attention when our four-square fitness level (our spiritual, mental/emotional, physical  and social development) is out of whack. An acronym that Charles Stanley used serves as a red flag and a personal assessment tool.


H Hungry – This hunger is not physical, but spiritual in nature. If we don’t take the time to nourish our spirit, we become apathetic.


A ANGRY – Often, anger is the byproduct of another root cause such as fear, shame or sadness that has never been dealt with and has escalated to another level.


L LONELY – Loneliness is not just the result of being without the company of people. It is possible to feel lonely even in the midst of primary relationships.


T TIRED – Being tired does not imply physical exhaustion alone. Mental weariness and exhaustion can occur from being overworked, overloaded and under-rested.


If any of the symptoms above occur, causing us to feel hungry, angry, lonely or tired, we should view them as red flags and a signal to H.A.L.T. or more pointedly, to stop and examine why those symptoms exist and deal with them before a head on collision takes place. We can still be productive while we are experiencing any of the above symptoms. God can utilize these experiences as lessons from which we can learn and leave as a legacy for others who look to us for leadership or guidance. God can even utilize hunger, anger, loneliness or tiredness to get our attention. What we are experiencing can be used to:

  1. Cultivate much needed humility in our lives;

  2. Build character and strengthen core values within us;

  3. Identify a state of complacency, lethargy or mediocrity; and/or,

  4. Shift the season in our lives as we move out of our comfort zone into a new assignment.


Pre- and post-menopausal conditions are real, but neglecting the practice of self-care will only make the conditions worse. The following symptoms occur, not just during menopause as some may be able to attest, but they also are a result of what will happen when our most valuable asset has been ignored:

  1. An inability to sleep soundly without patterns of interruption;

  2. An inability to focus for extended periods of time;

  3. An inability to enjoy routine activities;

  4. Irritability, frustration and aggravation;

  5. Unintentional weight loss or weight gain; and

  6. Uncontrollable crying spells.

Practicing self-care is an intentional, ongoing effort that requires thought, a strategy, and the willpower to follow through in placing yourself on your own “to-do” list daily, without feeling guilty for doing so.

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