What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of your family?
Scripture: Ephesians 6:1-4, The Living Bible
“Children, obey your parents; this is the right thing to do because God has placed them in authority over you. Honor your father and mother. This is the first of God's Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise: that if you honor your father and mother, yours will be a long life, full of blessing.
And now a word to you parents. Don't keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord himself approves, with suggestions and godly advice.”
COMMUNICATION
Communication is a two-way street that involves listening and not just talking. It can be positive or negative through our words, body language, actions, and attitudes. Our communication should be open, honest, respectful and anchored in love. This applies to both parents and children in the family. Our scripture focus tells children what the right thing is to do (obey), and at the same time, warns parents about doing the wrong thing (constant scolding and nagging which makes children angry and resentful). Instead, the main building block for the foundation of a healthy family is mentioned: love which involves encouragement, correction, discipline and godly advice that God approves of. An acronym I use to help to put this scripture in perspective for proper parenting is to be N.I.C.E.:
N - Nurturing
I - Instructing
C - Correcting
E. - Encouraging
To communicate is “to give or interchange thoughts, feelings, or information by writing, speaking, etc.; to express thoughts, feelings, or information easily or effectively; to be joined or connected.”
In what ways do you communicate well with your parent(s), siblings and children (if applicable)? In what ways do you communicate poorly? How can you improve your communication with your family?
RESPECT
The Bible tells us that we are to honor or show respect for our parents. Those who do so are promised two things: a long life, and a blessed life.
To respect means “to hold in esteem or honor; to show regard or consideration for.”
Respect is something that is learned and earned, and it is to automatically be given to those who are worthy of it. You can still respect someone, even though you may not agree with them. We show people how to treat us by the way we treat them. We also teach others to respect us by the way we respect ourselves in spirit, mind and body. We are to respect God, our parents, ourselves, those in authority over us, and friends who have earned the right to be respected.
Who is worthy of your respect? Who hasn't earned your respect, and why?
APPRECIATION
Sometimes, we don't show appreciation to the people who are the closest to us, our parents and siblings. These are the ones who love us the most and care for us the best. When we don't express love and appreciation to our family with our words, body language, actions and attitudes, we begin to take them for granted.
To appreciate is “to be grateful or thankful for; to value or regard highly; place a high estimate on: to be fully conscious of; be aware of; to raise or increase in value.”
What is one thing you can do immediately when you return home to show appreciation for your family (parents, siblings)?
Every family and every family member needs to give and receive love. Think of giving and receiving love like making a deposit and withdrawal in the bank. We can't withdraw money from an account unless we first make a deposit. If there's no money in our bank account, when we try to make a withdrawal we will be told that there are insufficient funds. Each of us, parent and child, has an emotional bank account. If love, appreciation, respect, consideration, kindness, generosity, honesty, and acceptance aren't communicated on a regular basis, then we will be emotionally depleted and withdrawn, which will affect and shape us as we get older and have relationships and families of our own.
Remember to lovingly communicate, respect and appreciate your family and one another so that you can have a long and blessed (happy) life.
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