I have learned through my own life’s experiences that my personality, gifts, talents, and abilities were
given so that I could be the person God originally intended. I have felt unbelievable pressure to look, talk, dress, and conduct myself like someone else, but at the same time to be true to who I am meant to be, that is, genuine, transparent and free from the opinions and expectations of others. Nobody can do what I can do like me, but me — and the same is true for you!
Here are 7 Life Lessons for Leaders that have been my mantra for managing my personal, pastoral and professional life for many decades. These lessons continue to keep me grounded as I intentionally take an introspective look at who I am and how I show up in life for me, my family and others in ways that will not compromise or contradict my core values.
I cannot be all things to all people.
I do not have to pretend to be someone or something that I am not for the sake of pleasing people.
I can’t hide what I’m really thinking and feeling behind a smile and a suit of clothes.
I must walk in love and forgive, even when I don’t feel like it.
I must practice self-care. Taking the time to nurture my spiritual, mental, emotional and physical needs is vitally important.
I must assess myself on an ongoing basis. Here is an acronym that Charles Stanley uses as a red flag and a personal assessment tool:
H – HUNGRY (spiritual hunger/apathy)
A – ANGRY (rooted in fear, shame and sadness)
L – LONELY (feelings of being alone in the midst of primary relationships)
T – TIRED (weariness of ministry, physical exhaustion, not getting enough rest)
Why It Happens:
Humility must be cultivated.
Character is being transformed.
Assignments are changing.
Complacency has occurred.
7. I must recognize when I am tired and running on empty, and choose to fill up rather than give up!
What does running on empty look like? There are many red flags that can give us insight into what needs to be addressed so that our mental, emotion and physical wellbeing can be prioritized. As women (especially during stages of perimenopause or full menopause in particular), some of these symptoms may directly affect our personal wellbeing or indirectly affect those who are closest to us: patterns of sleep disturbance; weight loss or gain; inability to concentrate; crying spells; irritability; and an inability to enjoy usual activities.
It is so easy to go about our daily lives without even realizing that we are running on fumes. It is much more difficult to identify patterns of behavior that have become unhealthy habits, and to do what is necessary to break those habits by replacing them with new thought patterns and corresponding actions that will improve our spiritual, mental, emotional and physical health. Growth takes place when we can learn from our and others’ mistakes so that we don’t repeat them. These 7 lessons have served as the fuel to change my life for the better and have caused me to create new paradigms and patterns in my thinking and doing. I believe that as you embrace them, the same will happen for you as well.
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